기가 막혀 ... like freshly-baked home-made cookies

"You got a new haircut eh?"

As he was opening the door, on his way out.

"I got bored.", I quipped.

"It looks nice! You look nice."

His parting words, under his smile, as the door closed after him.

Love.Sick.

Though I don't understand any bit of Thai, this song is a sure feel-good song, especially for the love sick.

Pieces of You [Drafted on 30th December 2011]

***

I just found this in my drafts. It was written way back... I remember not publishing it that time since the guy being referred to had access to the blog. Now, I think it's safe to publish, since I doubt he bothers to hear from me.

***

Quoi que l'avenir nous réserve...

What's in store for 2016?

I honestly don't know... but what I'd like it to be is to be valuable.

Streaming 2013-12-30 :: I wish you'd just hold me tight

Its been weeks of being in this state - of being clingy. a side of me I'm still getting to know, and so far I'm not fond of it.

 Its sickening, my body is rejecting it. But no matter how I induce it, I can't simply spit it out.

I can't shake it off... And I've been trying my best to be in control of it, but my strength seem to falter. I'm losing my composure...

OA lang ba ako... ? Ganito ba talaga?  I have never been this far in a relationship... And I'm scared that I might do something wrong that would just wreck everything.

It's been easy to engage in a relationship...but I'm not as equipped as I thought I was for a commitment.

I'm scared... That I might have a wrong grasp of things, of Truth not being by  my side.

Hoity-Toity

On a hot April noon, I was out having lunch with a dear friend of mine. It's been a long while since we've spent time together, talked about our life happenings. Then she asked, "How are you Victor?" and I replied with a smile. 

VS: I'm currently seeing someone. We've been dating for the past weeks now.

CC: Oh, that's nice. Showbiz?

VS: Nope, nonshowbiz. But graduated from the same university. He's younger than me though. 

CC: *Stares in query*

VS: What? He's just a year younger! :P 

CC: It's not that... I just realized you haven't been in kilig since M. 

VS: Oh... 

 Oo nga ano... wala nga.

 CC:It's just that, I haven't seen you in kilig lately. Wala kang kinakikiligan since M.

That had me thinking... I cannot even remember the kilig I had with M. The moments I had kilig, other than over a guy, were over CC's freshly baked choco-walnut cookies, cinnamon roll from Baguio, and... hm, no more. 

I miss the kilig, but I'm not craving it. It will come naturally, and I hope it does. Currently, someone's giving me more than kilig ;)

How You Hold Me Draws Me Closer (Part 2)

October rains were really heavy.

...

...

How You Hold Me Draws Me Closer (The Beginning)

So, for the past month, I've been dating RD, a native of Davao. RD is actually 8 years my senior and he's currently in his 3rd year of law school. Initially we traded digits from PR, and been sending random sms since then for about a month, before we finally decided to meet up.

Gusto mo ba ako maging boyfriend?

VS: Hmm, No. 

RD: Oh, okay.

and just like that, I wrapped up a DTR (define the relationship).

*foreheadpalmslap*

PS

I'll make kwento about it. i think i need to hear some comments, or a view from different perspectives. Anyone?

Movie Marathon of You

I've been stranded for 2 days now, with nothing but food and my laptop in bed. What could be better than a movie marathon in this downpour?

No Strings Attached
Bridesmaid
Something Borrowed

In the middle of each film, I think of you. Ashton Kutcher,Chris O'Dowd, John Krasinski. You're that sensible tall guy with a good heart, whom everyone hopes to end up with.

And by the end of the movie, with my phone in hand, I've already keyed in your name. A text saying "How are you?" or "I've been wondering when would you like to hang out again?", even something as profound as "I like you, always have...". But of course, the better of me took hold of the situation and simply left the messages unsent, deleted.

You and I are good friends, and I know how much you like to keep it that way. Don't get me wrong, I like where our friendship stands. But I can't deny the feeling inside me of seeing you more than a mere chum. There's that charm within you that, well unfortunately for me, set a spark in me. It's not because of the movies; the feeling has been with me for quite awhile now, but you constantly reminding me of how much of good friends we are have kept it at bay. Friend zone as commonly known.

I am completely fine with everything. This is not an expression of unrequited affection. I like you, that will hold true. But I also like our friendship - beyond my own selfish feelings.This is not some form of ode of hope, or of longing, nor over loss or defeat. I'm somewhere in between hoping and giving up - I don't exactly know. All I'm sure is that I'm here, the friend that you've met, wanted, and needed..

Giving In

It all starts with a light tap
of a finger or two
or the back of your hand
Then it softly slides - a caress
Add in ample pressure
You pronate, your palm in touch
Spreading your fingers
slightly flexing
grabbing quite a handful
Your nails, they bore
tender, one way or the other
It sinks in, drawing me closer

Hangover in the Morning

It just sucks! I'm kind of a morning person pa man din, and not able to have a decent breakfast just irks me. Damn hangover! haha! i think i had about a bottle and a half of 500mL RH. E RH yun... it's one of those drinks that I least prefer. But hey, who am I to complain, I was only invited last night.

Whilst There's Time

I have always kept my weekends free for possibilities, spontaneity, randomness. But for the past weeks it has been disappointing.

Poll #1 : Definitions

1. When can you say that you're "seeing someone"?
2. How would you define dating?
3. What does "nothing serious" exactly mean?

I'd really like to get some feedback on this. If you must ask, yes, I am seeing someone, but we're not exactly dating yet, since we're both not looking for something serious.

In Bullets

I have a few notes to say... to myself.

• Wala muna akong ikukwento, kasi bigla kong naisip, may mga makakarelate sa kwento. haha! Yes, marami nang nakakabasa, and the thing is, the guys I'm about to make kwento are the ones reading this blog. That would be awkward, right? So... Hindi na lang. Haha!
• Oh but I'd like to clear that up, I'm not sleeping around with guys. I did mention in the previous post that I've got kwento to tell about boys. Well, I think that'll be my next kwento, where are these boys coming from. *on cue: Bring the boys out!*
• Hmmm... Closet blog pa ba ito? Naman eh! Now I can't freely write about particular guys because they'll be able to read it. hmmm... Maybe I should change url, no?
• By the way, this closet blog of mine has just turned 1 this Christmas. Not much of a celebration - so did my Christmas. hohum.
• There are these decent guys that I'd like to write about... kaso, lugi ako. They get a peek at my thoughts, habang sila e di ko man lang mabasa ang mga saloobin. 
• I'd like to think that I'm good at reading people. I just wish people knew how to read me. As in take a good time, just reading me. Pampam ba? haha!
• I've got some free time. But it'll be over soon. Back to business... farewell to boys? Hmm. 
• I'd like to have cake. As always, I'm craving for food :P

Just because I'm not in an awesome mood to come up with a decent writing - we hit it off with bullets!

Bang! Bang! ;)

Of Gusts and Tides

Fck.

Wala pang isang buwan mula nang nangumpisal ako, mukhang nababali ko na ang aking panata. Biglang nag-iba ang ihip ng hangin nitong nakaraang linggo, malakas ang hampas pabaling sa kabilang direksyon.

We ought to have some coffee.

Instead of grabbing a couple of cups at a fancy café, I'd rather we make our own coffee. :)

So what say you? 

It's Been Awhile

Well, it's been a busy month, and now I'm a free man! Hooorah!

Stream 2011-07-16

a text
an invite
a set place
by the station
agreed, settled
we meet
a short walk
up a motel
down on bed
3 hours in all
we leave
parted ways
past 11
it's late
beyond curfew
a long walk back
in the dark
along the streets
unfamiliar faces
strange crowd
alien passing
dim lights
creeping shadows
unforeseen alleys
haunting thoughts
regret?
can't disregard
how could I?
can't deny
Is it that bad?
i am in longing...
that much.

Chance at Charms

From a list of things that got me preoccupied last weekend, I stumbled upon this hottie as I was surfing the net. Among athletes, type ko swimmer. Well I'm not sure if he's a swimmer, but he definitely looks good in swimwear :P Just check out the link, it's a good outline of his profile plus the photos.

I've never mentioned any man crush, until now. So what's with this guy? Well, if you've seen the photos you could say his gwapo, pogi, macho...or simply put, yummy. Though I'm not fond of his face, his body would do for a yummy body shot. A friend of mine mentioned his body would be great with whip cream, but I prefer to keep some of my favourite foods wholesome. He does have a Japanese look, and at some angle he reminds me of somebody else - a hotter version of someone. hehe..

So, really what's with this guy? Well, I believe I have a good opportunity of meeting him. >.< 

Simply put, I am looking forward to meet him. From what I've heard, he's really charming. Tingnan nga natin kung matinag ako ng charms nya. 

Hopefully a decent connection from a simple chitchat would transpire. Wish me luck!