Spoiled 2013-07-19

We were planning for a Friday night just by ourselves, "...just you and me" as we kept texting through the day.

But an unlooked for change of events came about with the sudden change of weather.

Vday never bothered me this much.

Ako lang ba ang malungkot nitong valentines day?
Boo hoo...

Lonesun

I don't know how much more I can handle waking up alone on a Sunday.

How I wish I have every Saturday, a night of romance, intimacy or adventure...

I don't mind being alone on a Thursday or Tuesday... but on a Sunday?

I can't handle being gloomy on a Sunday, it's just ironic for me.

Stream 2011-07-16

a text
an invite
a set place
by the station
agreed, settled
we meet
a short walk
up a motel
down on bed
3 hours in all
we leave
parted ways
past 11
it's late
beyond curfew
a long walk back
in the dark
along the streets
unfamiliar faces
strange crowd
alien passing
dim lights
creeping shadows
unforeseen alleys
haunting thoughts
regret?
can't disregard
how could I?
can't deny
Is it that bad?
i am in longing...
that much.

too much going on in my head

I've been meaning to write down stuff but I just find myself too tired to even start. Siguro mga 5 entries na sana nailathala ko the past days sa dami ng tumatakbo sa isip ko. Andyan ang career, ang mga limitasyon ko at sakripisyo, ang pagkauhaw sa buhay at pangungulila sa pag-ibig.

Okaaay, the last line might be too much and pretty exaggerated. But basically I am yearning for life. I want to travel, see places, meet people, go out on dates. I want to experience life as a 23 year old should. But I can't. One is financial reasons, one does need moolah to get to places and spend on leisure. Two, it is distracting me from my chosen career path, wherein I can't really afford a segue or detour.

Right now I can't concentrate on the things I need to focus on with all these yearnings dividing my attention. Ugh... it's quite frustrating. Perhaps I should have pushed with my initial plan of a two-year break.

(thoughts of regret? uh oh... I don't do well with regrets. I hate regretting stuff, because I rarely do.)


Hmmm.. adding regret to my list of worries now? *Sheesh*

"It's all about breakfast!"

Yesterday, I disclosed to a friend how I spent most of my free time last night...

- I watched "Breakfast at Tiffany's"!

as to share with her what I did for the 14th. Then she asked what's the movie about, and I blurted,

- It's all about breakfast!


Speaking of breakfast, I had two breakfasts today - first was at 4am, and the second was around 10am. And in both occasions, I had my meal all to myself.

hmm . . .

Alone.

and as I'm writing this down, I just came to realize that I've been having breakfast alone for a long time now...
a grim realization for me. I, who love having hearty breakfast at home with the early morning rays of sunshine, together with my family; have been having cold, instant food for breakfast in the comforts of a boarding house, all by myself.

On Fate, horoscopes, and holy schmolly: New Year Brings

I tried the Phrases 4 fun app in facebook, the "New Year will Bring ____ in ur Life?". Interesting enough, I got "LOVE" on my first hit and posted it on my wall. Being the sceptic and cynic that [I believe] I am, I gave it another round and got "SUSPENSE". Quite confused, I hit it again and got "Suspense" the second time. Suspense is a little vague and I thought I might get some clarifications if I give it a hit the fourth time. Got "Love" for the second time. 

It's Love vs. Suspense, tied at a score of deuce. I just can't settle with a tie, so I had to see it to the end who'd win in a match of 5...

*click*

*drum roll*

Waw. So the new year will bring me Love-suspense-suspense-love in exact order... Yet in the end, will leave Sadness behind. Something to look forward to, don't you think?

Sigh...
I should have settled with "Love".