Uma Pitada de Sol e um Vislumbre de Esperança

During my Marinduque getaway, a lot has been settled in my mind after spending a whole day doing nothing. Taking a few laps in the open waters, sipping freshly concocted mojitos, and sitting by the shore....aaaah, a clean break from all my worries.

"You have to allow a certain amount of time in which you are doing nothing in order to have things occur to you, to let your mind think" - Mortimer Adler

Mid Year Status

Quick rundown of what I've been up to the past couple of weeks:

• Basically back-to-back work, no play, for 3 straight months. Average sleeping time 3-5 hours. 6 if I'm lucky.
• Series marathon (watched mostly while at work. so much for "no play" :P). This time covered mostly Asian series: Addicted/Heroin Season1 (Chinese), Love Sick Season 1&2 (Thai), Descendants of the Sun (Korean), Oh My Ghostess (Korean).
• Had an awesome vacation over the Labor day weekend, a break from the city hustle. Scenic island hoping in Marinduque. 
• Spending time with dear old friends, and meeting new ones along the trip has always been a blessing. Cheers to good times! 
• Cheers to drunken folly for knocking some sense in to my head. What else was bound to happen when you're sharing a round of beers and mojito with a freshly broken heart, and another who's was still hung up on past love? 

Going to a far off island and spending a whole day doing nothing, make you see things on a better perspective. 

PS. continuation of this post deserved it's own entry.

Vday never bothered me this much.

Ako lang ba ang malungkot nitong valentines day?
Boo hoo...

Libidineux

For the past two months, I was able to enjoy the weekends - a luxury one would consider in my career. And with that much freedom, I was able to go out as much as I'd like and needed.

Being a lone single 24 year old boy (can't fully own the title of man), I've succumbed to the drive of my hormones, to the pinning of flesh, and the need to bask in eros. In two months time, I can say that I've manage to catch up with the lost years of libidinous brio, and harnessing lewd verve.

I'm a 24 year old, lonesome boy...

You cannot blame me for the macho that's within my loins; it's quite naive to expect one to suppress the salacious vim between his groin. 

Poll #1 : Definitions

1. When can you say that you're "seeing someone"?
2. How would you define dating?
3. What does "nothing serious" exactly mean?

I'd really like to get some feedback on this. If you must ask, yes, I am seeing someone, but we're not exactly dating yet, since we're both not looking for something serious.

The Fuss About Libido

What I should have said... I'm FREAKING FUCKING HORNY.

I dunno, but my sex drive is on full throttle, and I think it has something to do with my increased appetite and food intake this week. It's either that, or I have a tumour in my head.

Once again I've correlated food with sex! I've been eating up this week, and by the middle of the week I started heating up as well. I feel sexier when I wake up in the morning, in the shower, while dressing up, while stripping down, before going to sleep, and even in the middle of sleep. Sexified? The weekend was quite a torture - all by myself, with nothing to do! My idle mind had the workplace for the Devil comparable to that of Santa's workshop in the freezing North Pole - only mine was all about a scorching frig.

I could have simply jerk myself off. But I resisted. For me, it was not simply about spilling seeds, or easing tension because after every wank I'd still feel a lot of juices left. Persistent friction could result to serious chaffing, you know! It even crossed my mind to search online for a fuck, or wander off in the dark streets of Manila, to cruise public toilets and/or cinemas, and even to check out a certain fiery gay club. Basically, listed outlet options. But I've pondered on each idea and realized that I'm not willing to do any of that now, either being on the safe side or out of hesitations.  Like I've said, it's simply not about doing the deed. I'm not really sure... but there's this feeling of yearning. For a fuck? Perhaps. But but it's more than a compulsion, beyond this physical exploit. A longing for passionate intimacy?

Hmmm...
Then again, I firmly believe that the voracious appetite and surging sexual urges are strongly connected. With the increased caloric intake, it would suffice the necessity for greater energy expenditure. What do you think?



(p.s. If I'm not mistaken, it's a first to have jerk, wank, fuck, dick, horny,urges,  and a lot of sex, in one entry. As well as descriptives for food, i.e. juices, seeds, voracious, intake, but were used for sexual innuendos. I must be really horny and hungry both at the same time. Sheesh.)

It's Been Awhile

Well, it's been a busy month, and now I'm a free man! Hooorah!

Weekend 2011 0722-0723

Oh yes, I did have a great weekend... ate as much as I could!

I would like to take this opportunity to address the comments from the previous post. Yes guys kumain ako nitong weekend ng pasta.Sad to say, hindi ako natuwa sa mga nakain kong pasta :( Alfredo and Charlie, though a tag team, didn't really stand up to the challenge on Friday eve. On Saturday lunch, a macaroni salad made me wanna puke (kaso fine dining, nakakhiya naman kung gawin ko nga). But not to worry, I had a lot other than pasta. Salmon belly, lamb chops, maki and sushi of different sorts, kebabs, oysters,... in short buffet. AND IT WAS PURE AWESOME OF GASTRONOMIC PROPORTIONS!

I don't really see myself as a foodie, I simply enjoy food. I really take my time when I eat, and I don't mind if I'm the last guy on the table. Food basically has my heart for now. Oh, and also wine! haha! I had a good time on Friday midnight with a friend over a bottle of wine. Now I'm sticking with wine when it comes to drinking the night away (a kwento to tell, hehe).

Scrumptious meals, fine wine, hearty conversations, good times with friends...ang sarap ng buhay! 

"Ipagdasal kita... sa lovelife...."

Unang beses ko atang nasabihan ng ganyan, o unang pagkakataon ko lang nabigyang pansin ang mga katagang yan. Ang nasambit ko na lang,

Huwag na! Hindi ko kailangan nyan ngayon! PAGKAIN ANG GUSTO KO! Pagdasal mo na tumaba pa ko!

At nung mga sandaling iyon, naramdaman ko ang katotohanan sa mga salitang, tila kendi, iniluwa ko lang. Nakakauya rin pala ang ideya ng lovelife, lalo na sa puntong ito ng buhay ko. Lovelife? Masusuya lang ako kesa sa mabusog. Masusustansyang pagkain ang kailangan ko at hindi hamak na junk food. Higit pa sa tamis ang hanap ko -  linamnam sa bawat kagat ang tunay kong inaasam.











O sadyang gutom lang ako?

On Staying Super:: Tingin tingin lang muna.

It's like when going to the mall, and you don't really know what to get, you opt to window shop. Breezing through one store after the other, checking one shelf over another. Simply inspection. I don't really mind at all, I take time whenever I go window shopping; no haste and worry.

What's  frustrating about window shopping, though, is when the whole mall is on clearance sale and you didn't bring enough moolah
=______=

Got Time to Sit and Tell Stories

... but which story to tell?

1. how I got busy with the week,  - something routine naman ito, so baka boring lang
2. how I've finally realized that I've moved on from M -oo, as in walang latak ng pait
3. how I'm reminded how stuffy it is to be in a closet - something to do with coming out to a friend, pero hindi ko magawa ng madalian
4. how I stumbled upon a hottie online - napaclick sa link at *ding*, napakagat labi ako
5. how I'm surviving a crisis - naapektuhan ako ng poverty. (OA lang, pero oo taghirap ako ngayon)

As I sit in bed reflecting from the week that I have endured, these made it to my top 5. Though I posted them here, I'm not really asking the crowd to pick one and send in their votes to a Kwento to Tell. 

(Grabe, sabi ko pa man din sa isang nakaraang ulat di ako masyadong makakapgsulat sapagkat busy-busyhan na ko...pero eto naman, kung makaonline ng minsanan sagaran naman. hehe Bawi lang din pala e.)

Gaaaaah...got so many kwentos to tell. I've got a little more time tonight, we'll see which one I'll be writing about. (Huwag ko lang makatulugan :P)

Some Sentimental Feeling

"Good morning Love"

I woke up this morning, without opening my eyes, and gave you a tight hug on your side. Apparently you've been sitting beside me reading a book, you ran your ringers through my hair in response to my hug. I let out a deep sigh, which sounded more like a grunt, and you put down your book and brushed my cheeks with your now free hand.


Good sleep?


Yeah... how long have you been up?


Almost an hour now.


Please come back to sleep with me.


You lay down beside me and snuggled closer to me, as I wrap myself in your embrace. My nose brushing your defined neck, I took a deep breath, taking in all of your scent with one inspiration...

Then I open my eyes.

...

Time to change this pillowcase.

Grateful for being busy.

...would appreciate more if I can now enjoy my summer break. please!

I've got stuff going on that keeps me preoccupied from gayness. In a way it's a good thing, especially since I'm being super single.


Oh! except for this yummy guy this afternoon in the coffee shop who kept spreading his legs, doing a spread eagle sort of thing right across my table. He seems straight enough, and yummy as an ice cream in the summer heat. Buti na lang busy ako sa readings ko that I managed not to stare at his exposed thighs (and a little effort and I swear I would have seen this eagle's treasured nest).

Oh and another thing, learned a term from my (girl)friend today. The word for today is:

UNDERSTANDING

I don't really know its etymology, but it refers to the ideal attributes of a guy according to my (girl)friend's gay friend. "Ang tipo kong lalaki ay yung understanding." and by that he meant the size of his dick. I think the proper pronunciation would be : UN-der//STAAAN-ding. Yeah, a significant pause right after the second syllable, and a prolonged third syllable (better with a wink at the end of the word).

With that said, apparently, the eagle seem understanding enough.

"I don't date on valentines."

I was with my guy (for the record, whenever I say guy, I'm referring to heterosexual men) friends the other afternoon, enjoying light banters over a bunch of siomai. We like to enjoy siomai after our usual day, and spend a couple of minutes chatting before heading home.

For this particular afternoon, they started discussing about getting dates for the Vday. One of the guys in the group recently (if you consider 8 months as recent) broke up with his girlfriend for 4 years, and we were urging him to get a date or at least agree to a double date being set by another friend. They were discussing about terms and conditions, certain expectations, preference... when this recently single guy friend, started winking at my direction, Nodding his head, pointing his lips at me, suggesting that they hook me up as well for a Vday date.

The rest of the gang looked to me and went, "Oonga Vic! I-set up kita!".

None of my guy friends know about me liking other men, and I don't know if they have an idea or anything. It's just I have not told them myself anything about my dating preferences. (not yet!)

I looked at them and sternly said,
"Don't."

One of them had his eyebrows drawn close together, as if one is asking the other "ano raw?".

"I don't date on Valentines."

"Bakit naman!?"
"Tsong kailangan mo!"
"Di, okay tong kilala ko..."
(yeah, sabay-sabay kong narinig at nabasa sa kanilang mga mukha yang mga katagang yan. I'm that good :P)

"Basta... kung single, no dating so as not to ruin February."

But what I really wanted to say, was that I didn't want to ruin what I've gotten used to with February. Zero heartaches. I've never gone out on a date on a February, I'm either single then or I was too busy to even bother look for a date. Other than that, I've never looked at February as a month for dating. Sure it's the month of hearts, a moment for lovers. But it's more of a time for your love ones, it's being with the people you hold dear to your heart. It's not about mingling and hooking up with a potential partner, but rather spending time with your long time partner, or in my case closeSt (emphasis as to not mistake it with closet) friends.

I don't want to make a memory of lousy dates, of disappointing hookups, or of bitter heartaches out of my February. I will not risk a night of expectations, just to wake up to a morning of reality, and have for breakfast the shattered dreams of the previous night. I'd like to keep my February free of shards of broken hearts, without worries of ever hurting myself as I dance my heart out to the tunes of love.

Even if I have to dance solo.

On staying SUPER: a Siamese or an Akita

Been thinking of it a lot lately...
To go on hiatus or hibernation. or something.
Basta, I want to silence this part of me for awhile.

I want to stop looking at boys, or playing with men; not a single glance, nor a flirty remark.
I just want to stay SUPER single. as in SUPER single. ugh.

Can someone give me a pet? A cat, or a puppy. or even a plant. Any living thing that would benefit from my affection.

(Oh crap. I don't like how that came out...fuck the word).

Basta... i want a pet that would benefit from me. hmm... argh.


I'm no good with words now. basta. PET please!