Razbliuto

“for those memories are now
just like these little kittens
I hold in my hands

those can be kissed
and treasured
but not held too tightly.” 
― Sanober Khan, Turquoise Silence

Love.Sick.

Though I don't understand any bit of Thai, this song is a sure feel-good song, especially for the love sick.

9 Years and Counting

Right before my eyes, it struck me...

My longest relationship is with PR. 

A bit surprised to be honest. A random chat with a guy from PlanetRomeo just gave me this realization. Even when I was with Jjampong, I was having an affair with PR though I was seeing it differently at that time.

hmm...

I know that it's a hunting ground for the horngry, a meat shop for the famished. But it's also a haven for the lost, and lonely. Well, at least for me. The comfort of a random chat was enough to distract me from my weary. It may sound like an overstatement, but PR  was more than a hookup place for me; it served as a portal for me to meet and date guys, and was even fortunate to have had a chance with Jjampong.

...what am I driving at?

I didn't realize it soon enough, that I've established a relationship with PR itself, not exactly the guys in it. Basically, I should set my foot out in the real world if I were to look for a relationship, and stop living through that blue planet. I really have to break up with PR. The thing is... I'm not ready yet.


PS.
Lame entry for today. I actually have other things on my plate. Just for the sake of making space, I had to dish this one out. This is one of those times that blogging serves as a Pensieve. I'll have to tackle this issue some other time, perhaps on a better perspective.

Failure to Launch

Well, my desired hiatus will be cancelled and shall be rescheduled on a much appropriate busy time.

I have a lot of free time on my hands that I'm quite unsettled how to spend or waste it. Unlike before, I never had this much free time. During my internship, I always find a task to do, not comfortable whiling away sitting or waiting for the time off. You could say I'm quite the workaholic, willing to go on overtime  even without extra pay (uhm, I didn't get paid at all to begin with).

...balewala pala ang pamamaalam ko sa nakaraang lathala, kung hindi ko rin naman pala ito magagawa.

Which had me thinking - this is a flaw of mine.Consider this entry as to what made Jjampong decide to leave me...or at least a part of it.

Stalker Alert!

A first in my almost 9 years of being in PR.
Grabe, ngayon pa talaga nagkaroon.

What Stirred Such Controversial Text

Prelude: the abominable text.

Farewell Romeos

Time to live the fairy tale. <3

Inspired by Ignorance

I hate to break it to you guys, but this PR guy just inspired (or should I say, "in spite") me to blog. After a long break from blogging (for other reasons, that I'll have to write about some other time), this guy did a great job urging me to write. Truly, by imbibing the very lyrical "just the way you are", truly truuuully, he's just so amazing. AMAZINGLY STUPID (feel the rage in this statement. please).

Of course, I'd like to share this ugh-mazing encounter with you. Come on, let's all revel in his greatness.

Oh, shit! He already blocked me after his reply to me. If only you can check his account (I wouldn't dare you to even pry on his existence, but for the sake of this entry, sige search nyo siya), you'd read there that he's of Spanish descent, and that he's real name is something foreign, and that he has a list of sudo names. Yes, you read that right - SUDO NAMES - which included Peter Parker, Aldof Thiler, even Henry Si. Oh, diba ugh-mazing guy!

Ako naman si Mr. Charitable, I sent him a message which was plain and simple:

"Sudo Name", is spelled PSEUDONYM. You might want to change that.

I did that out of goodwill and service to all humankind. And this is his response to that:

Syempre, like any normal human being, I'd retaliate or at least defend myself from his arrogance (at para rin puksain ang mga tulad nya). I was about to send my lenghty reply when I remembered to check first if he blocked me. As expected, he did. Ganyan naman talaga mga nilalang na tulad nya sa PR.

Seriously, I do not understand where they get such attitude, kung saang kaibuturan (I double checked this term, and amazing may online Filipino dictionary. Something I learned new today! Hoorah!) nila nahalukay ung ugali nila... pati na rin kung saang kweba sila namuhay, ni anino nila di nasilayan.

Sigh... poor soul.

NOT. At dahil nga blocked na ko sa kanya, gusto ko pa rin iparating ang mensahe ko sa kanya, pai na rin sa mga kalahi nya.

Isa kang malaking tanga. Imbes na nagpasalamat ka dahil itinama ka, e nagmalaki ka pa ng katangahan mo.
Basahin mo ulit ung mensahe mo at tingnan mo kung sino arrogante.
Using words too big for your own vocabulary. Sige nga, define GROTESQUE. Define INCONGRUOUS. What is the the etymology of INCONGRUOUS?

Maliban sa pagkakamali mo sa SUDO NAME, ang tanga mo pa.
"i am bloody aware of that mister.that's how i want to use the word." Bobo. Pano ka gagamit ng isang salitang wala namang katuturan ni kabuluhan?
First time kong magmura sa isang user dito.

Congratulations ikaw ang una, sa sobrang katangahan.

Mister, huwag kang magkakamaling sumalubong sa landas ko...
baka mapaluhod at mapasamba ako sa katangahan mo. I really cannot believe such ignorance exist.

There's the word, and there's the meaning. Then there's the context.

I'm no expert with the language, I do commit grammatical errors. But I do find something wrong with how he utilized the word "palpable", hence the initiating query. To be objective, here's a brief background on the twat. (Kindly disregard the "online status". I'm not seriously looking for any.)

If you've noticed, I did check a dictionary. So, here's how our short conversation went:

oh and if you do have access to PR you'd get to see his current headline,which read as follows:

am i just lonely or am i just naturally horny? hahaha 

I didn't really understand what just happened.

Busy lang talaga ako.

19. G 13. May. 2012 - 18:26 Ah malapit pa rin. I can visit you there. Kaibigan pwede ko bang malaman number mo?

20. VS 13. May. 2012 - 18:27 093* ** ***** work phone ko ito, don't expect me to reply on time pag nasa work ako. i usually check my phone at the end of the day for personal matters.

21. G 13. May. 2012 - 18:30 work phone? Sad. Sige huwag na lang.

22. G 13. May. 2012 - 18:55 Sana hindi na kita minesaje pa

23. VS 13. May. 2012 - 19:13 it's my personal phone too. pero i got it basically for work. busy lang talaga ako.

24. VS 13. May. 2012 - 19:13 ?

25. G 13. May. 2012 - 19:15 How can we meet kung ganiyan ka naman. Hayst.

26. VS 13. May. 2012 - 21:22 anong ganito? ano ba pagkakaintindi mo sa work phone? you're overreacting.

27. G 13. May. 2012 - 21:23 Sabi ko paano tayo magkikita kung hindi ka naman nagloload syempre kailangan natin ng pantext

28. VS 13. May. 2012 - 21:24 ? who says i don't load? i just said na i'd be too busy to reply to not so urgent messages. You put my words out of context.

29. G 13. May. 2012 - 21:26 You can't blame me we have different perception and I perceive your text differently why? You're indirect.

30. VS 13. May. 2012 - 21:46 you got poor insight.

31. G 13. May. 2012 - 21:48 Ouch.. Poor insight. Wow. Personal attack. AKO NA MAY POOR INSIGHT. AKO NA BOBO. Anong klase kang tao para magsalita sa akin ng ganiyan. WE ARE CALLED PERSON COZ' WE DO HAVE DIFFERENT PERSONALITY. I hope you got it.

32. VS 13. May. 2012 - 21:56 case in point.

33. G 13. May. 2012 - 21:57 Don't worry this would be my last message. Thank you for being NOT A GOOD PERSON.

Attention

Everybody seem to crave for *
To have some piece of *


A little of your *
Undivided *

* takes a great deal of our interest

* and dedication

* makes you come back
For more *

Of Intellectual Conversations

I've been back in PR for the past week already. Yes, I signed up a second account out of boredom. It's been a fast paced, uhm, socializing I must say.

Anyhow... I enjoy reading profiles. Then I came across this guy's profile declaring he only likes intellectual conversations but hates hi-hello and thinks it is stupid. I can't help it but send a message, I wanna check what's under the hood of this guy.

The conversation I believe was just starting. I hit the Send button for my reply, but was caught off guard. The jerk blocked me. First time ko, kaya gulat ako. Honestly, I'm quite pissed. One, it's rude to block a conversation just like that. Two, he thinks too highly of himself, and that he's too good for a simple hi. I resent such jerks. Now, I'm wondering how does this guy even strike a conversation? May kagat-labi? With a wink? Or perhaps with a song? Oh, he's good then. Now I'm thinking he's the kind of person na masyadong nahuhumaling sa idea ng pick up lines, someone who take down notes from tv or from comedy bars.

Maybe I'm just over-reacting. But I hate this guy's guts.

Re: Quitting PR

What I was about to reply to a comment...

the irony nga naman o... nagtagal ako sa pr to facilitate getting a date, or finding that someone...

but what actually happened, was that i lost myself. I left pr not to find that someone, but to find myself. To get myself back.

and when the time is right, when i do find and establish myself, then i'd go find that someone... in planet Earth.  It'll definitely take some time - a lot actually - but if someone's meant for me, then we'll end up together no matter what...without anyone losing himself, getting lost or giving up hope.

Blast off!

FINALLY, left planetromeo.
I've actually deleted my account.

As I have been saying yesterday, Deal and be done with.


Farewell to the boys, to the men and to the bastards. I'll meet my champion someday, perhaps we'll bump on each other while jogging; share tables in the library or seats in a cafe; randomly sit beside each other in the theatre; or even set up by common friends. My chances of meeting my champion is greater in the real world than in pr. I'm giving in to the universe, and let her play with my fate.

Of Honourable Men : I Long To Be

I got something more to say about marriage, love and commitment... but let's leave it at that.

On Social Networking:: PR, and an update.

Been busy these past couple of weeks, and I had to refrain from getting online as I needed to keep distractions at bay... which is PR.

Yes, PR eats a lot of my time especially when my hormones are at its peak (not that it has a cycle or something). What do I do in PR that consumes a lot of my time? Well, as indicated in my profile, I enjoy checking out profiles and chatting with strangers. I usually start browsing who's online, and those with a catchy headline or hot photo catches my initial fancy. Those with worthwhile entries deserve some attention, either I leave a footprint or I add them to my booklist. Then there are those who get a message from me, and it's usually a query based on their profiles.

I really enjoy talking to guys from pr. I dunno, perhaps I got used to it. That's how I actually started 4 years ago. It was G4M back in those days, and the forums was really active and flowing. I got contacts from certain threads and we'd eventually trade ym and strike a chat. If it gets interesting we'd trade landlines and continue the chat over the phone, which I've always found more comfortable and convenient. Not only it's easier to talk, but you get better assessment of the stranger with his tone and the emotions manifested by his voice.

Up to this day, I prefer exchanging a few emails, then if we're both online i'd prompt exchange of chat ids. Then if it gets more interesting I'd trade digits. Thanks to globe's unlicall, it makes it even more convenient. I'm still busy with stuff so I don't get to take every invitation for a meet up on an impulse. yeah...that is the only thing that's keeping me from going around town.
*tsk.

On Kisses&Boys : K>F

What I should have said...K trumps F.

New Anew

In a few hours it's gonna be a new year, and I'm considering of coming up with a new PR profile. I enjoy reading profiles in PR, even way back guys4men (G4m) days. You can say I indulge in checking out random strangers and how they put down in to words their being. Some simply make use of the slam book format, with quotes or song lyrics, or their definition of love, even their dreams and ambitions. Others prefer putting up a classified ad, searching for applicants (educational attainment not necessary); as long as you're equipped with the goods and have the means, you're hired. And there are also some who put up an obituary, reminiscing (or bitching about) a failed relationship, a good for nothing boyfie, an elegy lamenting their hearts' death.

Here's mine:

With my profile, I think it's more of a blog rather than a profile. Even with my friendster (my very first social networking site), I put down latest thoughts or whims instead of a slam book, a classified ad or an orbituary. I dunno, it might be a little of everything depends on my mood and state of mind.

Hmmm... new year's coming, and I think I need a new profile. Perhaps just some trimming. Or, to come up with a new "Giving myself a year for/to..." (this is requires a separate entry. I'll work on that soon).

or perhaps to put more stuff about What I should have said...?

Here's to a year anew! Welcome 2011!

On Booze : Of Beer and Men

Lately, I've been checking out guys in PR, especially those within Sampaloc area, ask them out for a drink. So far, I've met with two: the first guy was after the Paskuhan celebration, and he even invited his straight guy cousin to join our little drinking session; and the second guy was after I got back from the province this week.

I'm actually weak on beer and hate the retching it induces, but I find beer perfect for meet ups. It's low alcohol content doesn't intoxicate me much to be out of control, but just enough to loosen up. Tamang sipa lang.

Ever since I started drinking alcoholic beverage, I prefered hard drinks. I'd shoot tequilla with ease, drink wine and champagne on special occasions, and share a traditional scotch or brandy with my relatives. I like my alcohol hard - and on some instances the same with my men, so I like taking a shot at them.

(hmm...sound slutty.tsk.)

I don't mind drinking by myself with hard drinks. But when I'm on my own with beer, I chug them down like water... completely out of moderation. An ex taught me how to enjoy beer. We'd go to ihawan's for dinner, then order a bucket of pilsens. Since he's the eloquent conversationalist (with a British accent), I discovered the joy of drinking beer. You take a sip, preferably a gulp, in between jokes, stories or commentaries. The stories get better and more interesting when you start to feel the booze and loosen up more to the topics (then of course one might get a little extra touchy, which is completely fine if you're up for a little action).

I think that's why I invite guys for a round of booze. I'd like them to loosen up ( not with their clothings) a bit with me. You get to know more about them, and you get straight answers out of their closets.

I must say, I prefer talking about life, whether it's personal or in general. Politics doesn't do me well.