Bid January Farewell

One of my favourite months, on it's end. I hope to meet you again, and bond with you soon.

But I can't say the same for RD. I've said goodbye on the eve of the 4th, after he told me things I wasn't prepared to hear. It wasn't about him having a short-time boyfriend over the Christmas break; nor when he kept reminding me that it was I who didn't want to commit.

It's was when he showed me that he didn't want to get screened for HIV, fearing that it'd be the ruin of his budding career; and that he didn't show a slight remorse or concern over my personal worries. At that moment, it was the first time I felt the strong urge of walking out on someone. But I didn't. I paused for a few seconds -  a decent 10 seconds or so, then let out a sigh. I stood up, and calmly said, "I have to go. I've got better things to attend to." But to him I was tampo over him having a bf with a random stranger, making it sound like a joke: "Aysus! Tampo ka!? e kaw nga tong ayaw sa akin diba?".

"No. Di ako nagtatampo over that. I just have to go. I can't stand being here right now.

Goodbye."

 With that, I head straight out of the door, pulling it close behind me.

Bright Lights Bigger City

Now Friday's coolBut there's somethin about Saturday nightYou can't say what you won't doCause you know that you just might

RD and I have been apart for weeks now, about 2 weeks, since he's on vacation back home in Davao. And I'm in Manila, not on vacation, nor a break. I'm starting to doubt myself, and where our relationship stands. We've been apart for weeks, apart this holiday season... and I haven't been really in touch with him. I didn't even call in for Christmas, nor text him belated greetings. I don't even exactly miss him. I have thought about him, but not exactly miss him. Wala yung feeling na "gustung gusto ko siya makita".

Should I feel bad?

He's been texting, "good night", "how are you?", "I'm bored..".
I reply naman; "sleep tight", "i'm fine.", "I'm busy".

But we haven't talked, as in a free flowing conversation. It's either I'm too busy, or I am that lousy. hmm?

Oh, and I've been more in touch with guys from PR. Does that make it worse?

On Fucking Labels :: How You Hold Me Draws Me Closer (Wrap Up)

... Satisfied na ako na fucking friends tayo. Ayoko ng long courtship.

Indécis

Every time we're together I've been looking forward to the end of our day, cuddling in your bed. There something about how you touch me that makes me wanting more; the way you wrap your arms around me, never letting go, that draws me deeper in your embrace. Through the night you never lifted your arms off me, you always pull me closer instead.

This is what I've been wishing to come home to. And you might just be the one I'd want to come home to.

But that's something I haven't cleared in my mind yet.

How You Hold Me Draws Me Closer (Part 2)

October rains were really heavy.

...

...

How You Hold Me Draws Me Closer (The Beginning)

So, for the past month, I've been dating RD, a native of Davao. RD is actually 8 years my senior and he's currently in his 3rd year of law school. Initially we traded digits from PR, and been sending random sms since then for about a month, before we finally decided to meet up.

Gusto mo ba ako maging boyfriend?

VS: Hmm, No. 

RD: Oh, okay.

and just like that, I wrapped up a DTR (define the relationship).

*foreheadpalmslap*

PS

I'll make kwento about it. i think i need to hear some comments, or a view from different perspectives. Anyone?