March in the Sun

All those days in the sun
What I'd give to relive just one
Undo what's done
And bring back the light

Batugan Blues

Yep. I'm currently (still) unemployed. Kahit stipend or abuloy wala akong natatanggap except na lang sa monthly life support ng aking magulang. Yes, sa edad kong ito, fully dependent pa rin ako. Oh, and I haven't really earned a living as of this point of my life/career.

Mas malala pa ngayon, totally batugan ako. Kain-tulog lang ang takbo ng oras ko.
uhm, well, date with my boyfriend of course, either indoor or outdoor. Pero no out of town or major vacations muna. hm, given na walang budget.

Hmm... ano ba sasabihin ko? Well I don't really divulge much detail on my life, or even aspects of it.
hmmmm....

What Stirred Such Controversial Text

Prelude: the abominable text.

Clingy Diaries: His Words Sealed the Box of Sanity

Le boyfie always thinks he's not good with words, but he underestimates himself.

Clingy Diaries: Semi-walkout

The past days, hindi talaga ako mapakali. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop.", which most often rules in me. We haven't seen each other for days, so we've set Monday, 17th to meet. But he wasn't feeling better, next day na lang daw which was fine with me. The following day, he was about to cancel on me. Di lang ako pumayag, so we met - well, may kailangan din kasi siya kunin sa bahay namin.  

Pero the whole time na magkasama kami, parang ang distant nya kahit magkatabi kami sa sasakyan; he wasn't talking to me, siguro preoccupied. The whole drive was quiet and when he dropped me off, wala man lang siyang kiss or hawak sa kamay. I couldn't bare looking at him, bumababa na lang ako ng kotse at nagmadali lumayo. That night, I was hurting. 

Hm, maselan pala ako.

Hello Clingy Me

That's all I could call myself.

"Kami."

May 2, 2013

Basically that's how I told my mom about my sexuality. Brief. Concise.

Awful.

"Nasaan si Girlfriend?"

Initally a comment to Mamon's entry, but it turned out good enough for an entry.

Ang isang tanong ay maaaring makakuha ng iba't ibang kasagutan. Depende sa pakay ng nagtatanong o sa impresyong mayroon sila sa likod ng pagtatanong.

"Bakit wala kang girlfriend?"

1. may nahuhumaling sa yo - kesyo dalaginding, muher, cougar, or sugar puffy, sila'y sadyang nang-uusisa sa pag-asang magkaisang palad kayo. Sa tono mahuhuli, "Bakit wala kang girlfrieeeend?" - malumanay at banayad, minsan pahaba, ang pagkakabigkas sa huling pantig ng "girlfriend".
2. marahil ikaw ay SSB (singleton since birth, o sadyang solo sa buhay), ni kakambal sa uma wala - "Bakit wala ka pa ring girlfriend?" ang mas akmang tanong (sadyang ayaw nila ipamukha sayo ang kanilang pagkainip). Kadalasang setting: Family Gathering, Pistang Bayan, High school reunion, sa mga kasalan, binyagan, at birthday party ng inaanak. 
3. kung nagkaroon na ng girlfriend subalit matagal nang wala - katulad sa #2 ang akmang pangungusap, "Bakit wala ka pa ring girlfriend?". Kadalasan mga matagal nang kaibigan o malalapit na tao na may alam ng Dating history mo ang nagtatanong nito. 
4. mga Sgt. Snoops - ang kanilang pagtatanong e may bahid na ng pangungutya. "Bakit wala ka ngang girlfriend?" kung matalas ang pandinig mo. May hinala sa maaaring kasagutan (nothing specific, really), subalit may gusto silang tugon na marinig; tipong mapahiyaw sila ng "Tumpak!"...or in most cases, "Confeeeermed!" sabay kampay sa kumare.
5. meron ding kombinasyon ng #1 at #4, fish combo meal ba ga - "Bakit hindi na lang ako ang girlfriend?", may halong fishing for answers for personal gain. Kampay ulit sa kumare sabay kagat labi.

Oh, and I've been asked before with the same question when i reached my early 20's (21 to 24) - by naive girl friends, clueless boy friends, my hopeful parents, and even some of my relatives during fiestas. Quick answer to family and relatives : "Studies and career muna." To friends and potentials: "Just haven't found the right one." -not in verbatim, but same point. My answeres then were not in evasion, but of honesty. Besides, those were the years that I focused more on myself. Call it YOLO, LOVEYOURSELF, or METIME; but these were the years I rediscovered myself and put first things that matters most.

And it ain't girlfriends nor boylets.

Weekend Getaway :: Up North

August 9 to 11, 2013 - a long weekend. 

Quatrième

I don't know how to celebrate monthly anniversaries, I was never a fan of such. It does not appeal to me as a merry occasion, but more of a dreaded countdown, marking the calender to the end.

Well, it just came to my attention that we are currently on our fourth month. :) It slipped my fancy since we're practically together everyday; how every time we have dinner outside, or when we stay in and just watch downloaded movies or series, it's considered a date. I don't like to say that "how time flies", or "that felt like a year"... those are unworthy expressions and don't fare fair with my truest feelings. I'd be totally fine if the world's revolution slows down if that meant having longer moments with you, and added minutes of joy. Hmm, I wouldn't mind being stuck in time with you. 

This is uncharted terrain if I must say, not just for me but for both of us. A few months back, I was holding my doubt and fears... but now, I have your hands clasped in mine. I now carry with me your love.

More of Life

and less writing.

Well...currently, my life is rolling. I'm busy keeping up with work, balanced with a lot of lovin'.

This year, I realized that it's time to live life. You only get to live once, might as well make it meanignful and worth it. Definitely a change of perspectives took place, and now, I'm living each moment.

I'm putting on hold my "coming out" kwento. It's still brewing, and it didn't turn out as I imagined. There's a hint.

Sa ngayon, good vibes muna tayo.

3 in one plus 1

No, there weren't any ice cream served then. It was about four or five years ago, back then I was in my sexual state...

Closet

Stream 2011-07-16

a text
an invite
a set place
by the station
agreed, settled
we meet
a short walk
up a motel
down on bed
3 hours in all
we leave
parted ways
past 11
it's late
beyond curfew
a long walk back
in the dark
along the streets
unfamiliar faces
strange crowd
alien passing
dim lights
creeping shadows
unforeseen alleys
haunting thoughts
regret?
can't disregard
how could I?
can't deny
Is it that bad?
i am in longing...
that much.

I feel like going shopping...

This time, seryosong shopping. As in mamimili ako sa mall. yung last post ko kasi di tungkol sa shopping talaga yun...pero dahil na rin sa mga response na nakuha e naeengganyo akong magshopping.

Gusto ko sana makabili ng isang set ng damit, mula top hanggang footwear. One complete get up. Something fancy perhaps, or the usual get up. I'm open to try out a new look as well.

hmm... i think i need a shopping buddy, or fashion adviser.:D

An Honest "No" Would've Done the Trick

This is a recall of my Thursday, June 2nd: