26 December 2013

Clingy Diaries: His Words Sealed the Box of Sanity

Le boyfie always thinks he's not good with words, but he underestimates himself.

"I love you and no one else" . . . those words burning bright, I can't simply let it pass.

11:40 am, 24 Dec 

M: ??? Who said about someone "else"??? [Jjampong's full name], that is not reassurring when someone starts mentioning somone else.
11:42 am, 24 Dec 
J: Don't be lonely na ok? Kaya nga sinusulot ko ung mga days na magkasama tayo before dba? Kasi when i become busier it would be hard for me to be with you. I love you! Always
11:45 am, 24 Dec 
J:That's  why I don't want to react. I have poor choice for words, and you easily misunderstand me. What i meant was even if hindi tayo magkasama i still think of you, i worry about you and i get scared when your mind is idle.
At this point, I decided not to reply - not out of cruelty or coldness. I was being irrational and paranoid. I'm not used to this, and I don't know how to handle this. I hold back my words, but I could only last half an hour.
12:15 pm, 24 Dec 

M: . . . I'm not even thinking that there's someone else. I'm just addressing my desire for intimacy and how you're brushing it aside. Then you mention "no one else". ... how do you expect anyone to react? Nakakapraning kaya.

Then followed by words overflowing with "I love you"s ...and his reply was simple and brief.
12:23 pm, 24 Dec 

J: :** wag na mapraning, no reason to be :**
His lack of words scare me - it's his words that calm me. I resent that he feels that I easily misunderstand him...it's not his fault, and I don't want him to feel incriminated. My clinginess in this time loneliness, is taking a toll on us.

1 comment:

Simon said...

Awh ;) I can feel the love in this post :)