"What will you be going to New York for?"

A pop question, totally sidetracked from discussion, as she firmly taps my shoulder.

"For a vacation?" I blurted out as I was snatched away from my daydream.

"To get married!"

The snide remark caught me off guard. Her as well. People were already snickering. She then saves herself with apologies and "I didn't mean that you -" and "Not that I was implying -". But it was just a little too late.

What I should have said:
Oh! Pardon me madam, but I don't have plans of getting married to the same sex... and I don't believe in such marriages. Sorry to disappoint you.

Chance at Charms

From a list of things that got me preoccupied last weekend, I stumbled upon this hottie as I was surfing the net. Among athletes, type ko swimmer. Well I'm not sure if he's a swimmer, but he definitely looks good in swimwear :P Just check out the link, it's a good outline of his profile plus the photos.

I've never mentioned any man crush, until now. So what's with this guy? Well, if you've seen the photos you could say his gwapo, pogi, macho...or simply put, yummy. Though I'm not fond of his face, his body would do for a yummy body shot. A friend of mine mentioned his body would be great with whip cream, but I prefer to keep some of my favourite foods wholesome. He does have a Japanese look, and at some angle he reminds me of somebody else - a hotter version of someone. hehe..

So, really what's with this guy? Well, I believe I have a good opportunity of meeting him. >.< 

Simply put, I am looking forward to meet him. From what I've heard, he's really charming. Tingnan nga natin kung matinag ako ng charms nya. 

Hopefully a decent connection from a simple chitchat would transpire. Wish me luck!

So Much of M

Of Closets:: Whom I'd Get Out For?

I'm not truly a closeted guy. One, I tell my dearest friends a lot about me simply because they're entitled to it, or I feel like sharing, or even as a form of equivalent exchange for all their dirty secrets. Two, I don't mind answering people's queries regarding my sexuality and preference; as long as they directly and personally ask me, I'm willing to give them a straight answer. Three, when and if I have a boyfie I'd like to introduce him to my dearest friends, and eventually to my family as well since I have no intention of hiding behind a shadow, nor keeping things out of the light, especially with my  family. Basically, these three are my setting for "coming out".

Got Time to Sit and Tell Stories

... but which story to tell?

1. how I got busy with the week,  - something routine naman ito, so baka boring lang
2. how I've finally realized that I've moved on from M -oo, as in walang latak ng pait
3. how I'm reminded how stuffy it is to be in a closet - something to do with coming out to a friend, pero hindi ko magawa ng madalian
4. how I stumbled upon a hottie online - napaclick sa link at *ding*, napakagat labi ako
5. how I'm surviving a crisis - naapektuhan ako ng poverty. (OA lang, pero oo taghirap ako ngayon)

As I sit in bed reflecting from the week that I have endured, these made it to my top 5. Though I posted them here, I'm not really asking the crowd to pick one and send in their votes to a Kwento to Tell. 

(Grabe, sabi ko pa man din sa isang nakaraang ulat di ako masyadong makakapgsulat sapagkat busy-busyhan na ko...pero eto naman, kung makaonline ng minsanan sagaran naman. hehe Bawi lang din pala e.)

Gaaaaah...got so many kwentos to tell. I've got a little more time tonight, we'll see which one I'll be writing about. (Huwag ko lang makatulugan :P)

Stream 2011-06-17

tiresome week
ending in weeps
a tear falls
soundless corridors
crowded halls
stalking seagulls

a man of the past
rests at last
feelings of truth
fin'lly bear fruit
love admitted
believed to be requited
settled relentlessness

Sweet Cheeks

I'm pretty much the guy who likes to kiss, and I could say I'm very particular with it. As I've mentioned in some previous entries, I don't like being asked for a kiss especially if he's not the boyfie, or he's not swabe, or I don't really feel like giving one.

But some time this week, I kissed someone on the cheek. Something that I don't really do, not even with guys I've dated before. This one peck I did this week, well, was actually a surprise. Not for the guy, I can't say for him, but for me it's actually a bit of a surprise. I don't remember giving anyone a peck on the cheek. (Oh, I just remembered, I did give a guy friend back in college a quick peck on the cheek. He's not gay, and the kiss was not intentional. It was out of reflex. I'll reserve that kwento some other time :P)

So, this guy picked me up for dinner, and it's the second night we've seen each other.We had dinner at a nearby pizzeria, chitchat about stuff, and about people. After our meal, we drove back to my place, and it was in that moment that I felt like kissing him. But not the usual kiss that I like or enjoy. I simply had the compulsion of kissing him on the cheek. During that drive, I felt sneaky whenever I glance at him, not because I was shy - well I shouldn't be since we've just gone out the previous night. It felt like I was stealing glances from someone I have stared at, and it's unusual.

I took a deep breath, faced him while he's looking beyond the dashboard, and just threw myself at him for that one quick, smack. He simply said "AH.. Okay." Out of surprised? He wasn't really expecting that, I thought...or perhaps he didn't like it one bit. I addressed my gratitude for the evening, bid him farewell and got off the car. I smiled as I shut the passenger door.

A peck on the cheek? SRSLY Vic? Well, it felt nice. I like it. Bahala na siya kung di nya magustuhan.... :)

My apologies for not introducing the guy. I didn't even gave him an appropriate appellation. Hmmm...this is hard. I'm thinking of Cheeks, since he's the first guy I've kissed on the cheek. Yeah...I should call him Cheeks, just for the sake of kwento, he shall be known as Cheeks. ;)

Never Leave Your Heart Alone

(Singing with Butterfly Boucher)

These past days I've been talking to a lot of people. Mostly guys I've been texting and chatting with for quite some time now. Some were guys I met from PR, while some were from the blogs. It's been a pleasant week to just spend time with people and be connected with. It has truly been a pleasure to be intimate with another guy beyond the physical means and exchange of bodily fluids. And I must say more gratifying than the latter.

I'm also starting to have a better appreciation for myself. I've been getting compliments right and left, and honestly I've almost forgotten what it's like to be appreciated for simply being who I am. Someone has been commending me and my writing skills; he finds this blog of mine poetic. I actually don't agree with him, telling him he should see more blogs and read more entries out there; people I'm following are remarkable writers, and far better writers than I am. If I know better, they could be making a living or a career out of their journals. And when it comes to "story telling", I really think I suck at it. haha!

Someone also told me that he likes my blog compared to those I've been showing him. Well, I've been showing him blogs of those better writers, but he insists that he likes mine better. Hindi raw kasi "bastos" yung akin (waaaw...a huge compliment for me to be honest). Honestly natuwa ako dun, knowing myself, I do have a bastos side of me. I can openly discuss my sexcapades to a random chatter, and be not embarrassed about it. Not exactly proud, but I do admit to facts and truths, and sometimes I do get a little overboard (nagawa ko rin namang magpost sa forum ng maliliit na detalye) . But those naughty kwento are now reserved only for personal sharing. I'm watching myself now, getting my act altogether. Being more responsible? And why not? :)

I'm on the road to a decent life. It's what I've been working on all these years. Unfortunately, I got a little sidetracked, some detours which only led me to roadblocks and dead ends. Now, I'm working hard to getting back on track. The first thing to work on is myself, which is what I've been struggling with for the past months. Second would have to be the connection with those around me; forging friendships, making them stronger. When it comes to threading a new line with a stranger, caution and honesty works best.

So now, I'm going for a trip, and I'll be updating this blog whenever I get the time. When I do find the time, I'll try to draft an entry or two. Consider this a farewell note, especially addressed to certain people whom I've connected with these past days. Thank you for the time we've been given, for the chance we've taken. Keep in touch, and see you again soon.

I'm off! :)

An Honest "No" Would've Done the Trick

This is a recall of my Thursday, June 2nd:

Got a Kwento to Tell

(ang conyo no?)
Who wants to hear a kwento? I feel like telling one, but I don't feel like blogging about it. So, I simply thought for those who want to go kwentuhan with me, maybe we could share stories over a few shots? Whatcha think? ;)