30 December 2013

Streaming 2013-12-30 :: I wish you'd just hold me tight

Its been weeks of being in this state - of being clingy. a side of me I'm still getting to know, and so far I'm not fond of it.
 Its sickening, my body is rejecting it. But no matter how I induce it, I can't simply spit it out.

I can't shake it off... And I've been trying my best to be in control of it, but my strength seem to falter. I'm losing my composure...

OA lang ba ako... ? Ganito ba talaga?  I have never been this far in a relationship... And I'm scared that I might do something wrong that would just wreck everything.

It's been easy to engage in a relationship...but I'm not as equipped as I thought I was for a commitment.

I'm scared... That I might have a wrong grasp of things, of Truth not being by  my side.

By the Garden Swing, We Pour Ourselves Another Drink

21 December 2013

24 December 2013

All I Want For Christmas 2013

I forgot to come up with my annual wishlist for this year :( My wishlists are very particular and detailed. I suggest that you don't refer to it kung ako ang nabunot mong regaluhan. (marami na nagreklamo sa wishlist ko, pagod na ko ipaliwanag ang side ko. haha).

Today, I was out for lunch and shopping with my (non-biological) sister and Jjampong. She was back in the country only for a week, and this was a good opportunity for the two dearest persons in my life to spend some time together. Sila lang pala nagshopping, ako naglilista lang sa isip ko ng wishlist. Timely naman na pagcheck ko, e tagged ako ni Aris.
So here goes

23 December 2013

Clingy Diaries: Surprise Visit

It was the 18th, I asked him to meet me, but he wasn't feeling well and decided to go home. So I decided to go to him instead. I took a cab and went to him. On the way I called him, to let him know that I'm on my way to his place. Aba, ang sagot lang nya, "Matutulog na ko."

Grabe, natameme ako dun. And he was really serious of just going to sleep despite me being on the way. Di ko napigilan, I had to trickle some guilt powers sa pananalita ko 

Clingy Diaries: Semi-walkout

The past days, hindi talaga ako mapakali. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop.", which most often rules in me. We haven't seen each other for days, so we've set Monday, 17th to meet. But he wasn't feeling better, next day na lang daw which was fine with me. The following day, he was about to cancel on me. Di lang ako pumayag, so we met - well, may kailangan din kasi siya kunin sa bahay namin.  

Pero the whole time na magkasama kami, parang ang distant nya kahit magkatabi kami sa sasakyan; he wasn't talking to me, siguro preoccupied. The whole drive was quiet and when he dropped me off, wala man lang siyang kiss or hawak sa kamay. I couldn't bare looking at him, bumababa na lang ako ng kotse at nagmadali lumayo. That night, I was hurting. 

Hm, maselan pala ako.

22 December 2013

Hello Clingy Me

That's all I could call myself.

Then, Death Drives

Currently on Christmas break, and it's a first for me to go on party hopping for a week.

With colleagues from work, we held our own Christmas party at one of our senior's place. Invited buong batch  pero less than 1/3 lang dumalo with some the other seniors. Mas masarap ang beer on tap kesa sa bottled. :P and the hard ones...WHEW! nagliliyab lalamunan ko... yung iba beyond Tatay level...

SO syempre, may mga nalasing ng maaga. There was this girl who got drunk early on that she kept serving drinks. Tanggerang tangger. I'm not chummy with her pero nakakatawa sya during one conversation.

Boy: " Woooh! grind it girl!" *habang pinagkikiskisan si Girl1 and Boy2*
Tanggera: "Grind??? Dude! there's this app for gay guys and it's called GRIND!"
Boy1, Boy2: " Weh?"
Me ( in my mind): GrindR kasi un.

Syempre di ko sinabi, at baka matuon pa sakin ang usapan.

Eventually knocked out cold si Tanggera, at wala pang 11pm yun. Ako sadyang kulang sa tulog, umidlip na rin muna habang naghihintay ng ibang putahe (potluck kasi, e dahil marami pang wala, onti lang choices sa food and drinks). The rest of the bacthmates arrived, still our numbers were no more than 20. I eventually woke up, back to party mode. Hanggang sa inabot na ng kalasingan ang karamihan.

Nung oras nang magsi-uwian, I ended up riding with one of the badly drunk guys.

Horrible idea.

I can't dwell on the details, basta the trip was horrible. I realized a lot in that hell ride, all came in flashes.
  1. Don't drink and drive.
  2. Better take a cab if you're drunk.
  3. Learn to drive na, so you can drive for the drunk ones.
  4. I love my boyfriend.
  5. It wouldn't hurt to make a last will at 25.

11 December 2013

Right Answers

While I was at work, being up for about 26 hours, with a few stolen winks in between. Being at work for this month has been a breeze so far. We usually chat about random stuff over lunch. Our seniors - considred as alpha female, pry on our group's personal lives.
"May girlfriend ka?"

07 December 2013

Hypothetical Questions

One November evening, while waiting for our food to be served, she suddenly asked,

"Okay lang ba sayo kung friends pa rin kami with Jjampong kahit na break na kayo?"
Me: Bakit naman hindi? I mean, you've been hangging out with him pretty much.
She: Okay...wala lang...natanong ko lang, hypothetical lang.
I looked straight to her eye and said,
Eh kung break nga kami, tatakwil nyo ba ko for him kung ako may sala?