15 February 2016

Tell me something I can hold on to forever and never let go.

Forever and ever...

No letting go...walang bibitaw...

Those were his words... back when he and I, were a we, an us.
But since our parting, he only left me with these words - words I couldn't deny holding on to for the dear life (or love) out of me:

Whenever a guy professes his love for me, it always set off something like an internal clock, a ticking timer, a countdown to an end. For reasons I never understood, but that's how it has always been even with him. His only advantage was, I made myself believe in our fairy tale affair, with his declarations of everlasting love - of a Forever. I held on to his words for as much as I could... until today.

It has been more than a year, and I would like to hear from him again - his words that I shall forever honour and hold on to... only this time, I want to hear it differently, to hear something more...

: Tell me something I can hold on to forever and never let go.
:: Let go. 

Leap Year

2016 is a special Leap Year, with the a skip on the calendar dates in the middle of the February.

Pardon me, just couldn't put down my thoughts into words.
My head's all in a clutter, I feel stuck on a gutter.

Oh bummer.

01 February 2016

9 Years and Counting

Right before my eyes, it struck me...
My longest relationship is with PR. 

A bit surprised to be honest. A random chat with a guy from PlanetRomeo just gave me this realization. Even when I was with Jjampong, I was having an affair with PR though I was seeing it differently at that time.


I know that it's a hunting ground for the horngry, a meat shop for the famished. But it's also a haven for the lost, and lonely. Well, at least for me. The comfort of a random chat was enough to distract me from my weary. It may sound like an overstatement, but PR  was more than a hookup place for me; it served as a portal for me to meet and date guys, and was even fortunate to have had a chance with Jjampong.

...what am I driving at?

I didn't realize it soon enough, that I've established a relationship with PR itself, not exactly the guys in it. Basically, I should set my foot out in the real world if I were to look for a relationship, and stop living through that blue planet. I really have to break up with PR. The thing is... I'm not ready yet.

Lame entry for today. I actually have other things on my plate. Just for the sake of making space, I had to dish this one out. This is one of those times that blogging serves as a Pensieve. I'll have to tackle this issue some other time, perhaps on a better perspective.