My idea of "coming out" is not something like holding a presscon. Hindi naman ako showbiz na tao. Among my family and relatives, I'm quite a wall flower (or not!), plus I don't think it wouldn't be much of a surprise kung mag-out man ako. But I think they'd be surprised na may mapapakilala akong guy sa kanila - something unexpected.
That's my idea of coming out, is by introducing my man to the family. My parents are quite conservative, though they are aware to homosexuality, I'm just not sure if they're open to having a gay son. My cousins, well I hear how they speak of gay men, how they make fun of them. I couldn't really care more about that, I mean, I'm not intimidated by them.
I do see myself coming out to the family. I mean to, and I'd like to. I want to introduce to them the man I (shall) choose to be with. I want them to get to know him, be chummy with him, because in that way they'll get to know me too and it will make us closer.
So what would be the indications for coming out? or At least, who'd be my ideal guy to come out with?
- Number one in the list is, of course, if I'm in a happy, loving relationship. I guess for others it's being with "the one". A worthy man whom I'm more than willing to face the consequences with.
- With regards to the previous item, it has to be at least an 8-month relationship. Though a year old relationship would be more preferable, I think fostering an 8-month relationship is already a milestone - at least in my case. The reason behind this? I intend to introduce only one man (once) to the family.
- I finish college. - This one has been an old item in my list. Finishing college was dedicated to my parents, to bring them honour. It was my way of showing them that they've raised a good son. Even though I didn't turn out to be the man they expect, I want them to see the good son in me. Before I can take pride in anything, I'd like my parents to be proud of me first - which by now, I'm sure I have made them very proud of me. (SO, check na to! haha!).
- My man has to be bibo. This one is a little challenging in terms of meeting the right guy. He has to be bibo, for him to win my family's hearts. Especially with my mother and brothers...I want him to be the guy who can take on my eldest brother and his antics. Trust me on this, he'd need to get chummy with my brothers.
- Aside from being bibo, my man has to be confident and brave. This also goes for me... my dad is not an easy man to face. When and if I do introduce a guy, I'd fight for him. Like I've said, my dad won't take these matters lightly. I love my father, but it won't be easy to make him see things from a another perspective.
- With regards to my father, timing is the key. He has to be healthy and "physically fit" to take such news. As mentioned in #5, he really doesn't take these matters calmly. He has a temper of a dragon... I just wish he has a heart of a bull.
- My man and I have to be on the same level of maturity, and that we're both fully committed. Our relationship has to be worth fighting for, and that both of us are in it for the long run.
I'd like to make it clear, that I do not wish to fight with my family over a guy. It would break my heart if it gets to that. But I would like to show my family that I'm not bringing in my guy to the family out of whim. I'd like them to take me seriously and see how much it means to me bringing my man in to the family.
Yes, ultimately, that's the point of it all... my man as part of the family.